The first date can feel like a tightrope walk over an alligator pit. You’re nervous, excited and trying to not fall flat on you face. It can be a wild ride if it’s handled correctly. Read more now on Directing Conversations.
Let’s talk a little about preparation. Imagine that you are going on an exciting adventure. Would you leave without the essentials? No, of course not! Same goes for dating. Plan what to wear, what to do, and what topics you want. Little planning can go a long way.
The right location is essential. The right place to meet is crucial. A loud bar could drown out the conversation while a fancy dining establishment might be too formal. Try to choose a relaxed place, yet lively enough to keep the conversation going. A cozy café or casual eatery is perfect.
Dress like you are meeting an important person, but don’t go overboard. It’s important to be comfortable. You don’t want to spend your evening adjusting your collar, or your skirt. Think smart casual–nice jeans and a nice t-shirt can work.
Now let’s jump into some conversation starters. Avoid feeling like you’re in a job interview. Nobody wants to be grilled by an interrogation light. Share funny stories, or ask open ended questions that will spark conversation. “What is the most bizarre thing you have ever eaten?” Can lead to some hilarious conversations.
Listening to others is just as important as talking, and maybe even more. Show genuine concern for their opinions and stories. You can nod, laugh along with their jokes (even though they may be dad jokes), or make them feel like you’re listening.
Body language speaks volumes too. When they speak, lean slightly in to show you’re interested. You should maintain eye contact with them, but not staring down at them like you are in a staredown contest with a kitty.
Humor? You’re best friend is here! A joke or playful tease, delivered at the right time, can help break the awkward silence faster than you think. You can keep things light-hearted without resorting to stand-up comedy.
You may not have thought of post-date etiquette. This is simple, but it’s often overlooked. Thank them for their time. Mention a specific thing you did or discussed on your date.
Rejection is inevitable. Everyone will face it sooner or later. You shouldn’t take rejection personally, or fall into a self-doubt spiral faster than an Olympic diver. There are times when chemistry doesn’t work out. That’s okay.
The second date is more challenging than the first one because your expectations will be higher. (Butterflies are still fluttering). If you’re having trouble keeping the conversation going, plan something low-pressure and fun like mini golf or a visit to an art exhibition.